Annual Review

I recently heard a speaker discussing the transition from working to being a stay at home mom. She commented that there is no data for stay at home moms to measure our job performance. Fortunately I stumbled upon such a review. Yesterday I was asking Mali to tell me what she likes about her daddy, and she said one thing and then quickly said "but I don't like...". First of all, she was in one of those moods, but I also wanted to see what she would say about me. What I'm going to blog in this post is pretty hard to share, the last thing I want to do is be a failure as a parent and I really do not like being vulnerable at all, but I want to share to 1. document it 2. be accountable to changing it, if no one knows then I might not change 3. parenting is hard, but through God's guidance we can make it and have well loved children at the end. So this is what Mali said, and I hope to make a habit of getting an annual review:
What do you like about mommy?:
When you play with me, read to me, that you're thankful for what you get, taking shower/baths together, when you be kind, when you calm down and stop saying ugly words, when I swing and you push me, watching movies like Narnia and Australia, when we have fun and enjoy spring.
Now its time for my rebuttable, or clarification. First of all, I think many times a day, I tell Mali she needs to calm down or that she is using ugly words or has an ugly mouth. Most often, she turns around and says "you're being ugly mommy" and I respond something like this "Mommy is teaching you and I'm being firm." However, I KNOW I need to change this and use sweet/kind words when correcting her or speaking with her after asking her this. I've already seen a huge difference in this and how she responds. When I talk calmly and without frustration to her and just sit with her and maybe hold her hand as I explain to her that I was trying to get Eleri to fall asleep and how she was being too loud, it works so much better than, to be honest, yelling at her to stop being loud! I'm sure I won't always get it right, but I'm trying to lean on the Holy Spirit to enable me to do so. On the other hand, I'm thankful that she enjoys things about me, but at the same time feel guilty because I haven't been doing them as often since Eleri's birth. There is always some reason that I can't push her in the swing or read to her. BUT, we have gotten to take lots of shower/baths together!:)

What don't you like about mommy?
Your sassy mouth, but you're just teaching me.
Going to Sam's

Now, I'm not sure who doesn't like going to Sam's....FREE SAMPLES. But apparently what adults like children don't always appreciate!:) Her other statement goes with what I was saying previously. Our mouths either speak life or death, and I tell her that so often in a day, now its time for me to speak life!!!

Finally, I asked her what she wishes mommy would do:
Have fun and not do anything else
Take me to SeaWorld and Disneytown.

I knew the materialism had to creep in there some where!!!:) And, my big observation is that it is all about spending time with her and focusing on her!

God help me to be a better mom, enable to me be wise and intentional with the time that I have and to give Mali quality time. Give me a mouth that speaks life and help me to calmly handle correction and take the time to sit with her and be sweet. Forgive me where I have failed and push me forward to do better through your power and strength. Thank you for the times that I have made Mali feel loved and for the sweet memories and moments that I had to make deposits of time into her life!