9 year Anniversary

disclaimer: I took the pictures with my iPhone of the photos in our wedding album.




Today is our 9 year anniversary. I have to be more creative in my blog posts as we get to celebrate a new year mark. Two years ago I did this, last year I did this…so this year I’m going to do something completely different. This year is a major celebration…each year is a major celebration. I think this year I realize we could be in a different place if it weren’t for God, and in fact every year is that way. We have watched the decisions of a friend deteriorate his marriage. I’ve prayed for and kept in contact with his now ex-wife as she has gone through this most difficult time. And, she has taught me and helped to see that even if what I have is hard some days, at least my husband is still here. Not to encourage complacency by any means in our marriage, but it has given me a new, fresh perspective and appreciation for Eric and our marriage.
So as I look back on the past 9 years, I’m so grateful. I’m not sure my words can sum it up or that this is even the place to share my own words. Just in time for our anniversary, I’ve started to read “Love and War” by John and Stasi Eldredge. This is what they write about marriage and I want to share it because it is 100% true and I believe that everyone, married or not, should read this book and hear this truth.

“Romance Meets Reality
Maybe we ought to just start this book here: Marriage is fabulously hard. Everybody who has been married knows this. Though years into marriage it still catches us off guard, all of us. And newly married couples, when they discover how hard it is, they seem genuinely surprised. Shocked, and disheartened, by the fact. Are we doing something wrong? Did I marry the right person? The sirens that lure us into marriage-romance, love, passion, sex, longing, companionship-seem so far from the actual reality of married life we fear we have made a colossal mistake, caught the wrong bus, missed our flight. And so the hardness also comes as something of an embarrassment. (Don’t you feel embarrassed to admit how hard your marriage is?) Maybe it’s just us.
Nope. This is everyone. We might as well come out and say it. The sooner we get the shame and confusion off our backs, the sooner we will find ou way through. Of course marriage is hard. For heaven’s sake, bring together a man and woman-two creatures who think, act, and feel so differently you would think they’d come from separate solar systems-and ask them to get along for the rest of their lives under the same roof. That is like taking Cinderella and Hick Finn, tossing them in a submarine, and closing the hatch. What did you think would happen? Now, while your at it, toss into that constantly-in-your-face experience of all our fears, our wounded hearts, our self-centeredness, our self-doubt, and our resolute commitment to self-protection. Good Lord. Anyone looking for undeniable proof in the existence of God need look no further-the fact that any marriage makes it is a miracle of the first order. Bona fide proof that there are forces in the universe working on behalf of mankind. I wish some older man had pulled me aside a few weeks before our wedding and said, Now listen, son. You’re a fine young man; Stasi is a wonderful girl. I think you two are made for each other. I’m very excited about this marriage. But now listen to me, lad-are you paying attention? You are also, both of you, deeply broken people. And all that brokenness is going to start coming to the surfaces as soon as you say, “I do”. Don’t let this throw you. It happens to everyone. It doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. But what would be wrong would be to ignore what surfaces. God is going to use your marriage to get to issues in your life he wants to address. You’ve got a way of making life work, and you’re going to discover that Stasi does, too. That’s all going to collide sooner or later. You might make it a year or two on young love, and thank God for it. But don’t ignore this stuff when the fairy tale hits the fan. Get some help”

Today is a busy day for us. I have two clients after school and Eric has spring football. We’ve both been okay with not really celebrating our anniversary on our anniversary every year past. But, I’m starting to realize we need to really celebrate…not in a legalistic way, but in a thankful way. We met at the park for lunch. Eleri of course joined us for our 10 minute lunch before Eric had to get back to work. And, if I can make him, we will watch our wedding video tonight and spend time looking at our pictures and remembering the day that made us….us. We will also be taking a small little "trip" in a few weeks, just the two of us.