So, first, I did copy this post title from another blog but it was sooo fitting. Today I am 16 weeks pregnant and had my monthly OB appointment. My appointment was at 9:00am and I was out in my car by 9:05am. Just makes me love my OB even more! He listened to #3's heartbeat and found it right away. It was 160. I haven't really felt #3 move (but had felt both girls by now and surely I should be able to feel my third by now?) and combined with reading another mom's blog, I was starting to get worried and prepare myself a little for a not so good appointment. I'm so thankful to hear that sweet sound that bears God's name. This sweet baby was HIS plan and He has brought this baby this far! My appointment was good overall. I've lost 1lb since my last appointment a month ago. I was certain I'd have gained since I've been able to eat again, but my OB wasn't hugely concerned about that 1lb as long as I can eat something and "keep sugars down". I'm trying to drink a lot of powerade but that makes me a little queasy into the afternoon/evening. These last few weeks (okay now we are at months) have been so hard and I've not had the best attitude about this pregnancy and part of me just wondered if God was going to sort of give me what I asked for (I haven't asked for no baby but my attitude sort of has). However, I really do not believe that is how our God works. He is full of grace and mercy, the two things that prove he doesn't give us what we "deserve" and He is a loving God that has a bigger plan through my misery. Now that doesn't mean he gives me an easy path by no means, just look at this pregnancy. He is using the hardness of it all to shape me and without that hardness I might just go about life without my thought life being changed. Part of that I really believe is transforming my heart/attitude and thoughts. I just started a bible study with Hillside on Tuesdays and it is teaching about our thought patterns and how what we think about ourselves, or say to ourselves in our mind/heart, affects us so deeply. My thoughts and in return attitude has been pretty stinky lately. So bring on the transformation, but can I please stop puking????
I am still throwing up each day, at least once on a good day and sometimes more, all day on a bad day. The more active I am or more I do or least I sleep, the sicker I am. I feel horrible and miserable and I really want all the feeling bad to end. I'm counting down the days and really know that any day I could suddenly stop puking and stop feeling bad. But I also know I may continue to feel bad. Its taking such a toll on my entire life and that's what I want to end. I don't feel like doing anything because my body is just exhausted. I take a nap and "wake up" and my mind is awake but my body never seems to really wake up. Doing ANYTHING just drains my energy, even taking Eric a pillow up to school! I just go downhill all day and I'm realizing that my afternoons are my valuable time that I have with my children and I need to be making the most of it and being intentional, but I'm not. I'm sitting there like a zombie, pregnant woman. They aren't being neglected, but they aren't really being engaged by me either. I loose patience so quickly with Eleri for making 18 month old messes and I hate that at this age with Mali I was so much more patient and loving. I want to believe that this is a season and it will get better, but I don't want to loose the days and hours either! I would so appreciate your prayers as this difficult difficult season continues in my life. Pray for my sweet sweet girls and that they would get their mommy back soon. Pray for Eric that he would get his helpmate back (especially one he so desperately needs during this SEASON for him!)
I have a sweet big girl to go pick up and a baby that is mysteriously waking up at 1:25pm instead of 2:30...can you say LONGGGGG day!
Oh and we also scheduled our BIG sonogram for October 14th...but the question is will the rest of the world find out with us the gender of our baby?
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