Not smelling like fire

The past week has been a little difficult to rise above my circumstances. Part of the problem is receiving bills for surgery. Especially when it cost what having a baby would cost (not quite, but that is what my mind is telling me). I'm finding that I'm having to spend a lot more time and effort taking captive my thoughts and feelings. I'm not sure if it is hormone related (I think it is), but I am struggling with being upset and just having to fight it, or ask God to fight it is more correct. I am really trying to rest in the sovereignty of God. The chapter that I'm reading in "A Life Well Lived" has been focusing on having poise during difficult times, and believe me, that is what I'm trying to do. I'm not sure that I'm really succeeding right now. God has reminded me of the Daniel study that Beth Moore wrote. She talks about how Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego came through the fiery furnace and didn't even smell like fire. "v. 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them."(see Daniel 3) I suppose that is part of the greatest struggle right now; to go through this fire, which is actually sometimes daily small embers spit off of the larger fire in my life, and yet to not smell like the stench of the burn. I know that I have such an opportunity to choose to breathe life or breathe death from this experience, especially as I come in contact with new people and share my "story". At this point what I know is that I have to expose myself to God in some form, scripture, prayer, music, worship, anything on a daily basis, or else I will not succeed in not smelling like this fire.
I also wanted to share a quote from the book (I will say again, you need to get this one!!):

Ecclesiastes 8:6 "For there is a proper time and procedure for every delight, when a man's trouble is heavy upon him."

When my life is burdensome and my heart is broken, I need to remember that there is a proper time and procedure for every delight. There will be a time when this trouble is gone. There will be times of laughter. In God's purposes, there will be a time when everything is turned upright again.
So if you have trouble that is heavy on you right now, know that it is all in the sovereign purposes of God. Change what you can change. Be wise. But in what you can't change, rest in the sovereignty of God.

Also, one of my very best friends shared this verse with me. I hope she doesn't mind that I shared it on the blog. It was so appropriate. I continue to be amazed at how scripture really is new every morning!

It made me think that God knows what we need, when we need it, and He is gracious to fulfill our desires with an "open hand". Hope that makes sense, but I guess the verse can speak for itself! "The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing." - Psalm 145:15-16

On a much lighter note, football season at Bonham has begun. Eric won all four of his games in the past two days. A major cold front hit right before the 7th grade games on Monday and it has been perfect football weather ever since. We have had fun enjoying what we can enjoy and celebrating with Eric! So to add to my list of "likes" about Amarillo, the middle schools do not play at stadiums, just on the fields outside of the school, which makes life much easier with a 2 1/2 year old running around. I watched more of the games than I've watched since she was born (and maybe before that since I'm new and have no one to socialize with :) )