2007

I've been thinking over this blog in my head for the past several days. The new year typically makes me try and think over the past year and what was significant about it. I also have been trying to remember what I've learned this past year. 2007 was a difficult year. When I started to think about it, I realized that we found out we were pregnant at the end of April. Which made me realize that the majority of 2007 was consumed with the pregnancy and the fallout from all that occurred because of the pregnancy and then subsequent molar pregnancy/miscarriage. Not so much the miscarriage, but all that it created emotionally, physically, and relationally, has been affecting us for most of 2007. I know that so many more people experience such greater loss than this, and I don't believe that I have experienced something unimaginable. We also spent most of 2007 living in Lubbock but left in July to move to Amarillo. The move was hard to make because of the amazing friends and church we were leaving behind. However, through my tears as I pulled out of Lubbock, I put my hope and trust in the One who never disappoints. And He has so wonderfully taken care of us here in Amarillo. In fact, the move to Amarillo may have saved my life (as I've blogged about before). Despite all of our difficulties this year, we have had so many answered prayers and miracles, even from the smallest miracle when Mali let me brush her hair!:) 2007 was filled with wonderful times with my friends, and Mali had a blast and made so many memories with her friends. Mali began to grow into a big girl and we began to learn how to parent a big girl (I'm not sure how successful I am at it yet.) We also celebrated our 6 year anniversary and 10 years of dating/engagement/marriage. I am so thankful for what God has given us, even though we've had some losses with the gifts. During Christmastime, I spent a lot of time trying to focus on Jesus as Savior and was hit with the fact that having a Savior was/is better than anything. If Jesus doesn't do anything else for me, being my Savior is enough and immense in and of itself.
So, what have I learned this year? I've learned to be utterly desperate for God and have learned that I have absolutely NOTHING. I have lost all "skills" that I could boast in (i.e. being disciplined in exercise, money, parenting, waking up early, doing my quiet time; parenting abilities; being a successful play therapist, etc. The list could go on.) I'm not sure that I have really grasped this, but I do know that I am nothing and can be nothing without the supernatural power, love, mercy and grace of God. I can no longer boast in any thing of myself. 2007 was a tearing me down year. Just like a tree must be pruned to be more beautiful, I suppose I was pruned and might just become more beautiful. That is the picture I keep reminding myself of, even though I can't see the end result yet. I look forward to 2008 being a building me up year.
Another huge lesson I learned was from studying Ecclesiastes. I learned that bad things are just part of the experience of life and that I have hope in Jesus to get me through them. And, that I need to enjoy what I can enjoy and not worry about what I can't control. So I believe that is what I've learned, maybe the further out I get from 2007 I will realize more of what I've learned. I also wanted to include pictures from the past year as well, to remember all the events that have occurred throughout this year. Pictures are fun and can share more of the joys that we've experienced this year! So enjoy!